World of -=Cha[0]z=-

i screwed up again...

2006-12-26T22:13:00.000+08:00

first and foremost, BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

now that's done.. hehe, havent been out of the house that much since term break started

i have been killing myself on the fact that i screwed up again much like last year.. only i could do such things.. i failed FILIPI2...

yah, its burning my mind.. how stupid, how lazy, how ignorant i have been this term.. if i failed my PHYCOM2, then its bye bye lasale for me.. fortunately, i didnt.. but nevertheless.. i still failed a subject which i said in the beginning was a "sure pass" subject... stupid lazy jason... RAWR!!! >.<

although i dont look like it, im actually afraid of dropping out of college... just because of the thousand and one stupidities i made.. its really killing me deep inside...

well got 9 units to try to catch up on (ANMATH1, FILIPI2 and NETANAL).. but trying to remove ANMATH1 off my number of failures will be close to impossible for me.. since i really suck at math... and NETANAL isnt going to be in my flowchart the moment i shift courses so im left with 3 units to relieve... C R A P ! ! !

demmet, how many things did i manage to screw up this year... a thousand and one i guess.. 2 car incidents, failing sure pass subjects, destroying other various objects( like our monoblock chair just a few hours ago), and more that i just dont want or just cant remember... this has been a really mixed year... both physically, mentally and emotionally...

got 5 more days till the next year.. wonder what new stuff ill probably destroy...

CHEERYOH!! -__-

break...

2006-11-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

dami ko gus2 isulat, pero tinatamad lang ako magsulat...

sori n lng...

update pag sinipag and pag wala na ako ginagawa

may welga!! T_T

2006-11-04T22:24:00.000+08:00

may nag wewelga sa blog ko, ewan ko kung bakit...

labo ng mga signs nila e... hahaha

kung gus2 nyo rin ng welga, or others, visit www.netdisaster.com

happy b-day...

2006-10-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

lol, bday ko naaaaa!! wow...

tanda ko na haha...

pinanganak daw ako around 8-9 ng umaga... so d p ako official na 19 hehe... baka pag gising ko mmya.. 19 na ako haha...

*changed layout kasi boring daw tiognan sabi ni eijan haha... lagay ko ulet cbox pag cnipag ako hahaha

nasa lab...

2006-10-25T17:26:00.000+08:00

la magawa... nag palit lang ng links... yun lang... si casti epal wahaha

casti is blogging.

2006-10-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

hey pipol! hahahaha=p

just when i thought...

2006-10-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

just when i thought things couldnt get any worse... it just did...

this time, i just found out how stupid i am...

i hit our car (sentra) into another car (crosswind) thanks to a blind intersection... nevertheless, the result was just something i couldnt take anymore... the sentra had to be towed after the accident due to a busted radiator... yes, thats how strong i hit the crosswind...

i really cant put the blame on anything else.. thats just how stupid that situation felt... even if it was a blind intersection (if you know the streets, its at consuelo bautista intersection near lasale) it was still my fault for not even considering that there was an intersection at that part... even if i pass there regularly... and thats the worst part... i pass there almost everytime i bring a car... and i didnt even see that intersection...

i really cant face my grandfather now... he's already paying for my tuition, and since he's the president of his insurance company, the car i used was insured before during my stupid sleep-driving accident, and is now going to insure this new accident i made... including the damage of our car and the car i hit...

im sure im already the talk of the entire inigo clan... i already feel that im the so-called "blacksheep" ... it really sucks to know that...it also sucks to know that my parents are doing everything they can for me, and i return the favor with this stupidity plus all my failures in school...

this month is definetly the worst... feels like i got hit in the chest by a hammer, been stabbed by hundreds of needles, and now has been hit in the face with another hammer...

when will this ever end... T_T

logic...

2006-09-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

logic wins...

my reaction, is as blank as a spotless wall...

logic versus emotion...

2006-09-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

since last friday.. i have been getting a lot of thoughts... and these thoughts are all caused by my logical thinking, and my emotional thinking..

usually, im a logical thinker.. knowing what usually the best thing to do based on the situation...

but now.. im torn apart by my logical thoughts and my emotional thoughts... simply because they both scream opposite ideas...

last weekend.. i wanted to go out... i really really wanted to... just to get my mind off the thing thats been bugging me most... even if it means seeing her then...

but alas, the fates really didnt want us to continue that weekend... so i just told my sister to buy some beer on her way home... and she told me that if i wanted to, there was still some tequilla left in the house... so i just raided the tequilla...

yes, that usually isnt my style... logical thinking clearly states that drinking will not solve anything...
but my emotional thinking just wanted me to get some...
and yeah.. i finished it, 6 shots worth...

ok.. that really isnt me... hell, ive been getting a few drinks from the refrigirator in chizzy... god damn it jason...

and ever since that day.. i have been fighting with myself about a certain problem... one that even logical thinking is also disagreeing with itself... what do i do now.. forgive and forget? my history tells me that doing that usually meant it would happen again... how about acting like it never happened... -_-" ... that would usually lead to a bigger wound... how about getting angry? not my style.. me being angry would mean me being quiet again... and frankly, it sucks... how about spreading the hate... that would put a bigger hole in the already broken relationship...

.........

im so torn apart about what to do... some of my emotional thinking scream of revenge... my logical thinking says "what good would that do?" my logical thinking says to cotinue being friends, my emotional thinking says "and get yourself hurt by the minute?"

yah.. im sad right now... so sad... but logical thinking says that time heals all wounds... and probably its true... time will heal all wounds... but for now, time is moving so fucking slow...

against my nature...

2006-09-17T22:51:00.000+08:00

rain was right... he knows it... my friends know it...

i am, by nature, a happy person..

and again.. he was right.. he knows how difficullt it is to be sad the whole day...

why was i so silent for 4 days.. then suddenly i am seen talking and smiling a bit by friday..

sheeesh.. obvious answer.. it was a bday celebration... cant be sad for that.. besides, free food!! lolz.. ty drew.. hapy bday by the way...

by yeah... i will continue to sell my fake smiles to the world... just to hide the sadness within me..

for it is against my nature to be sad and angry for days...

you made me cry...

2006-09-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

i never want anyone, not even my family, to see me at my weakest... but then... u made me show it...

i dont know whether i should be sad or angry... but actually, im both right now...

but now... im really angry...

anyone who gets in my way will surely feel my wrath...

thanks for making me this way...

hope with me gone... i am not a "burden" anymore

-__-"

a brick wall of depression...

2006-09-11T20:55:00.000+08:00

had no energy to eat... (lost appetite)

had no energy to play... (ever since the 2nd week of the term break)

had no energy to joke... (not even a single one)

had no energy in class... (didnt listen)

had no energy to even laugh... (not even to any joke my friends made)

=(

i am distressed...

2006-09-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

yeah... im distressed...

however, putting my problem here isnt really gonna solve anything...

since yesterday, this has been bugging me.. to the point that i couldnt sleep...
and im not that type of person!! i could sleep soundly even if i am failing...
but this... this isnt normal...

wtf!! =_="

rules for term 2...

2006-09-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

1. No PC usage unless neccesary
2. Only 1 outing per month
3. Study harder

lol... these rules may seem very impossible to me...
but i will do my best to keep them...
if i still want to have a school...
good luck to me...

post number 43...

2006-08-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

i was thinking of another idea for this post... but im too lazy to write it yet...

so anyway... whats this now about?

another rant?
another problem?

more or less yeah...

damn, how stupid could i be... my dad bought an airsoft gun, 3k i think... i just use it for a moment, and i break it! wtf... damn it... i broke the shoulder guard thingy... tever thats called... it hasnt even survived 1 week in our house...

hmmmm, and our new pc... has been restarting on its own, mostly when i play warcraft... if its broken again... damn it...

oh yeah... i bumped my mothers car in our garage when i was parking... chipped the pain on the front bumber... nice...

mostly today, ive been stuck in front of the computer... since there is nothing to be done anyway... my mind has also been blank, mainly since its been busy thinking about stupid stuff...

well yeah... thats the interesting parts happening at home...

ill go youtubing for da moment... babush

sleep, must sleep...

2006-08-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

just slpt at 6 in da morning, woke up at 9...

coffee didnt help me... good thing i was eating something while i was driving or else...

-__-

numbers game tayo...

2006-08-12T00:15:00.000+08:00

11 - th day ng kahit anung buwan ay monthsary

6 - months n kmi magkasama

41 - posts n nagagawa ko

10 - kelangan para mag 5 vs 5 sa dota

2 - kelangan para makamura sa VIP room ng chizzy

3 - hours para mkakuha ng pagkain ng libre sa VIP room ng chizzy

14 - units ko this term

13 - class number ko dati

1 - idea para magkagulo ang utak ko

my mind is in chaos...

2006-08-12T00:00:00.000+08:00

medyo nagulo sobra utak ko ngayon...
bihira mangyari ito...
siguro lahat na ng rason pde ko ibigay, pero wala sa kanila ang pwede tanggapin...
kasi...
ako lang din naman gumawa ng buhay ko...
kaya ako na rin siguro masisisi para sa nangyayari sakin...

pessimistic ko noh??

tagalog ako ngayon dahil tamad ako mag english d2...

ayoko na manakit ng tao...
ever...
and ever...
and ever and ever...

tong blog ko parang naging daan para sa mga nararamdaman ko ahh... lalo na ung mga pangit na pakiramdam...
amp naman yun...

amp din ang kati ulet ng mata ko...
masama ata tong monitor na to...
dry eye sndrome daw pucha...

halata na ba galit ako ngayon???
ngayon alam na...
tae tong keyboard na toh, hirap pindutin letter 'y'...

ang boring ko pala...
punyemas na buhay toh...
haha... dota na lang... -_-"

pag si jeff chua ba pinapatay, anung mob kaya hahabol sa nkapatay??
uyy eye drops.. teka lng...

anu b nangyayari sakin...

......

2006-07-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

from may 28 to july 14...

long time since i last posted here...

probably a long time when i will post again...

im totally depressed right now... the things i say often gets out of hand... a few words... POOF!!! instant magic!!! >.<

when will this feeling ever end... >.<

whatta shit...

@_@

2006-05-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

@____@

so wats going on??
im confused...
uneventful weekend..
same old school week...
unable to see u...
i miss u...
still confused...

@__@

crooked-line plans...

2006-05-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

my plan for this day was...

wake up early(7:30)--> get car from ziebart(11:00)--> get tanya from school(12:00)--> go home(1:00)--> go wid friends(4:00-5:00)

so why did everything go wrong?

i woke up at 8, kept lying on my bed... got up at 8:30... stood around d house waiting for my brain to start... so i sat in front of the tv... then opened the computer... it was around 11 when tanya texted me to pick her up from st. scho... and around that time, i left the house to go to ziebart... i finished there around 11:45... got the car, and started my trip to get tanya... this part gets interesting...

when i turned into pasay road going to the south super highway... i was in the wrong lane.. so i was forced to go straight into arnaiz avenue... okay, fine.. i thought maybe i could find the road which goes straight to st. scho... well, i was running low on gas, good thing that a caltex station was there on that street... right after gassing, i continued along arnaiz... and then the car makes its drama... it stops... i start it, and we go on... after 10 meters, it stops again... i start it again... after another 10 meters, i decide to make a u-turn, cause im already lost... as soon as i turn the wheel, poof!! it stops again... and this time, it doesnt start.... i tried it about 10 times... no luck... good thing the tricycle drivers push the car into the sidewalk... and told me about a shop nearby... so i go there and tell them about the car... after, we went back to the car to push it all the way to the shop, which was a street around 3 meters behind the car... and 20 meters from that corner... dem... its hard to steer a dead automatic... -__- after they checked the car, they told me that the starter was the possible problem... and they needed to check the starter to confirm it... but since it isnt my car, and i had not much money that time... i called my mom and dad...

my mom is in "school" and too busy to help me... and my dad was "uncontactable." so i called my lolo (which also came to my rescue when i bumped the same car)... and yeah... i gave him the directions to where i am... and after 3 mins... figured out that he will get lost trying to find me... hahaha... that was around 1:00pm... tanya was already stuck in school... and i was stuck with a dead car...

anyway, i went out to arnaiz to wait for my lolo... which was an irritating time... because i havent eaten breakfast or lunch.. and a few stalls away, was a carinderia... i was already hungry, and there was a carinderia there... too bad i couldnt risk wasting money on food that time... well after 30 mins of waiting... my lolo's tamaraw showed up... and i ran to it... i gave him the directions to where the car was... and after letting him talk to the mechanic... they tried to fix the starter................................................................................................................................................

it was already 3:00 when they got the starter out and dismantled it... good thing that the only problem with it was the carbon... less cost... ^_^ that time, we went to get tanya from school, since she was still waiting for someone to get her.... -__-... after getting her, we got back to the shop at 3:30... and waited for them to put the starter back together... it was around 4:30 when the car was finally running again...

we managed to get home at 5:00... and i was already rushing to get myself ready 4 da movie we were gonna watch... ahehe turns out that in xavier's side, they also had a house malfunction.. with which, they also got delayed... so we left bicutan already around 7... hahaha...

wake up early(8:30)--> get car from ziebart(11:00)-->fix car again(11:30) get tanya from school(3:00)--> go home(5:00)--> go wid friends(7:00)

plans never go straight... hahaha...

a swimmers rant...

2006-05-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

ahehe yes.. this post was made right after the last one...

A SWIMMERS RANT...

well, i dont think i have the right to call myself a "swimmer" anymore... i have "unofficially" quit the dlsu swim team ever since the start of the third term... unoficial meaning that i havent been attending the practices anymore... havent still got the guts to talk to our coach about this...

ahehe some wont probably understand why i did this... but technically, i have been swimming since grade 2... and doing something for that long is very very tiring... probably basketball players have this same feeling.. but they have the pleasure of showing their "skills" with others and sharing and enjoying with friends... soccer is the same.. all you need anyway is a big area and a ball... and you can also enjoy the sport in the open.. with friends...

swimming on the other hand.. is an underrated sport... agree or disagree, people will want to watch a basketball or soccer game more than watching a swimming competition.. dont get me wrong, even i would rather watch basketball or soccer... but in that idea, it clearly shows that swimming is not popular...

my older sister who studies in up.. and has been in the up swim team.. told me that (no offense) "although the UP basketball team dont get the championships during UAAP and the UP swim team do.. the basketball team gets bigger allowance, better dorms, better treatment... while the other teams of UP get the bad dorms..." what does that tell you??

ahehe another thing which i am mostly irritated is the fact that most swimmers are called "fishes." again.. dont get me wrong.. my younger sister told me also that shes also called a "fish" in school.. i am called a fish also... why the heck do we get that stereotype?? are we slimy? or is it because we can swim??? soooooo whaaaaaat does swimming have to do with fishes???

its not that i am angry at people for calling me a fish... its just that some are just so damn ignorant as to how hard it is to be a swimmer...

ahuhuhuhu... this is one frikin rant... dont mind me anymore... =P

what am i doin?? who knows...

2006-05-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

ahehe caloy has just left us... and from a students standpoint, you would have to wonder...

WHY COULDNT IT HAVE HIT US DURING SCHOOL TIME???

ahehe.. sorry if this request was kinda selfish.. ahehe but wouldnt any student want to ask this?

ahehe anyway, all i have been doin is nothing since i came from davao.. went to the palms country club.. stayed home, sent the car to the shop, stayed home, celebrated mothers day without our parents... ahaha weird..

well my current plan is to have my school work fixed.. when i went to school last week to retrieve a few flowcharts... i was kinda irritated and schoked also that the flowchart from batch 05 and batch 06 are very very different... i was refered to see a academic assistant by erin.. so tomorow, am goin back to school to talk to an academic assistant... deym, by lookin at the flowchart of batch 06, i would say that we are still lucky that we dont have to go through those other courses anymore...

well anyway, school starts at may 20... adjustment at may 18... ahehe im out..

A Trip Worth Remembering...

2006-05-04T18:57:00.000+08:00

the last time i went to davao, i was in grade school (i think)... it was so long, and i cant remember anything about that trip... so for me to go with tanya to davao, it was like going there for the first time... again...

me and tanya were left behind in manila while tita sandy went ahead... good thing there are a lot of connections with PAL... so the next flight, we managed to get seats... ahehehe... but while waiting for the next flight, me and tanya ate at the airport and stayed there for 2 hours... ahehehe...

anyway, after landing in davao, we were greeted by tita sandy, ito, ian, io, isi, and tito bong... we then went to woodridge to tita maite's house... aheheh, thats where we stayed, and its the house which i stayed in last time too... ahehehe... there we met cathy, manang and carlo... ahehehe the only person i remember from davao last time was cathy... ahehehe... anyway, ito, cathy and manang made a choco mud pie the day before, and we ate it when we got there... nyahahaha (thanks 4 da pie =D)... then we ate dinner and after dinner, we walked around woodridge ... while doing that, ian was going weird as he kept running and hiding from us(in plain view)... ahehehe... then we got the amityville dvd and returned to the house.. and then we watched pinoy big brother, then watched amityville... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, dami nahirapan ma2log hahaha...

after that, nagtunganga kami sa haws, gumawa ng isa pang cake sila ito, cathy and manang... ahehehe, nag NCCC mall din kami.. dahil dapat manunood kami ng muvi, but ended up in tmezone instead... and while manang, ito, isi and tanya went back to the house in manangs car.. me, ian carlo and cathy rode a jeepney to woodridge... ahihihi...

we went to high ponds, a resort managed by tito tommy... ahehehe, first time ko dun, and ndi ko lam kung anu nandun... pero ang lam ko ndi sumama sila cathy and manang.. tsk tsk.. haha joke lang... nag fishing kami ng onti, nakahuli si ito ng fish...then nag swimming si io and si while we all watched them swim ahehehe...

________________________________________________________________

we also went to samal island.. we slept in the resort there, and also went to island buenavista.. after that, we went back to high ponds and slept there to prepare for the party of isi.. ahehehe the next day, we spent the whole day in high ponds for the bday party of isi.. that day, io also went back to manila ahead of us... after high ponds, we stayed this time in apo view hotel.. because the next day, we were to go wild water rafting... almost all of us cousing slept in apo view.. ahehehe.. the next day, we spent the whole day wild water rafting.. nuff said ahehe... its a long story, with the key events of me almost being flown off the raft by stupid reasons and also me sleeping on the raft... yes, another stupid reason... nyahahaha... we came back to the hotel tired... but still alive enough.. we slept late again doin nothing but thinking about corny stuff and telling stories... ahehehe

well the next day was a panic day.. sort of late already, and with the plane overbooked, me and tanya may have a chance of not getting on the plane that day... good thing calls were made and we managed to get a seat on the plane... ahehehe... we also bought the pasalubong that day before leaving for davao.. ahehehe...

one things for sure, whether this story i made is short, lacking of other details... the trip is still one worth coming back to... ahehehe yess.. ang senti ko!!! miss ko na kau dyan!!

thanks also for letting us mess up your days there.. =D

im back...

2006-04-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

my writing mode is back... ahehehe

i managed to survive this term... call it lucky or what.. but i am going to second year in DLSU... i just dont know how i survived PHYCOM1... but well, i am now carrying 16 units of failures into my second year... with the largest probability to remove 3 more units from that accumulation...

well thats that... i got scolded a lot of times about my grades... which would be an obvious reaction.. and i also got more scoldings from my little accident with the car... the first estimation of the damage was 9000 pesos.... the second one was 16000 pesos... err yeah... helluva expensive for a fender bump... good thing the insurance company will fix that damage... but still, im really angered at myself for causing this much destruction into my life...

those things aside... ahehehe... me, dione, xavier, beli, marcus, gerald and geri cloma and mary went to riviera last thursday... the day before, me, beli and marcus slept over at xavier's house... then invited mary at 1:00am of thursday to join us... beli, marcus, dione and me didnt sleep... well i tried, but i just ended up closing my eyes for an hour...well anyway... us 8 went to riviera in the pajero... yes, beli and gerald were screaming at the back for every bump... muahahaha.... after the riviera, we (xcept da clomites) slept over again ahehe...

well thats that... on tuesday me and tanya are going to davao... spend some time there to remeet my cousins and also to get away from da manila atmosphere... who knows, i might even see drew or ron... muahahaha... going there though will definetly make me miss someone... T_T

ahehehe thats it.. wala na ako iba malagay.. im out..

thoughts for april 17...

2006-04-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

april 17...

course card day...

judgement day...

deciding point...

wether i will stay in dlsu for another year...

or go home to disappoint...

2 subjects are already down...

that means 17 units already...

maximum this year is 18 units...

1 more subject down = failure...

the pressure is on...

ang dami nangyari!!! >.< =D

2006-04-11T21:00:00.001+08:00

labo ba ng title? ahehehe...

>.<

nung sabado... tapos na dapat lahat ng iniisip ko.. wala na ako pasok, iintayin na lang ang course cards... tapos na dapat lahat... pero hindi..

habang umuuwi, tinamaan ako ng antok.. sobrang masama antokin habang nagmamaneho diba? pero sa lahat ng oras na pwede ako tamaan nito, ganung oras pa... dalawang beses ako naka2log habang nagmamaneho... una, medyo nag-swerve ako... ung pangalawa... ayun na... kotse na nabungo ko... haay... tapos na dapat lahat ng problema ko, well at least ung skul part... and then eto pa nangyari... pareho ang sinabi ng lahat ng nakwentuhan ko ni2... "last day pa ng classses mo nangyari ito.." sa dinami dami na ng mga problema ko... may huling pasabit pa ito...

at nung inisip ko pa... 2 weeks ago, flat tire ang inabot ko... ngayon naman eto.. strike 2 ako sa unang month ko ng pagkuha ko ng license... saya noh?? nagbayad kami ng 3500 pesos para sa kotse na nabungo ko.. dahil na mis-align ko ung trunk, basag ung ilaw, and nasira rin ata ung bumper...

=)

saturday nangyari yan... da next day, pumunta kami riviera... haay, sobrang kelangan ko ung trip na yan... para sa ndi alam kung anu ang riviera, ito ay isang country club sa silang, cavite... nag golf kami dun, kahit par 3 lang.. at sobrang sabog ung score ko dun... and after, nag swimming.. sobrang stress relief ang ginawa ko dun... ahehehe...

>.<

tuesday ang sobrang important na araw... at lahat na ginawa para matanggal ung tuesday sa sched ko... yes.. eto na ung pessimistic mode ko... nung sunday, pinapapunta ako sa isang retreat... 3 days un... so from monday to wednesday wala ako dito... sobrang inaway ko na nanay ko para ndi ako pmunta dun... at sa isang swerteng pagkakataon... na cancel kami dahil kulang na ung transpo nila.... NEXT..

sabi pupunta kami sa josephines paguwi ng dad ko... josephines, water park daw... ahay.. buti na lang di na2loy... NEXT..

lentek na smart tlaga... 3 days na kami wala internet, at sa lahat ng araw na pwede sila pumunta, tuesday pa talaga... buong umaga na ako naghintay, at ayaw ko na magintay... so ilang pilit sa magulang bago ako palayasin...

=)

ahehehe... na2loy rin sa wakas ung tuesday... kahit sabog sabog na lahat ng plano.. ahehehe.. bat ba sobrang importante tong tuesday na toh? ahehehe... 2nd month na namin ni dione kasi... kaya ndi talaga pwede na matanggal tong araw na toh sa sched ko... :D

ahehehe... sobrang dami nangyari... sobrang sobra...

2nd monthsary namin ni dione.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... i love you!! <3 <3 <3

sticks and stones...

2006-04-05T22:57:00.000+08:00

ym is fucked, computer is fucked, everything isnt going the way it should...

you know the saying... sticks and stones...

we better be careful about what we really say...

or else, we might hurt something more precious than our physical appearance...

and unless your stupid, you know what that should mean....

this message does not only go to me, but to everyone else...

stress culmination, anyone?? ...

2006-03-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 2006

currently the worst day i have ever had this year... it all started...

12:00 pm.. i was talkin to dione while playing pangya, just done our engltwo 2nd draft...
the tournament was almost over, i have a sure trophy and a broken record... as soon as i finished the tournament, i got dc'ed from the game... ok, probably a lame thing to be angry about...

1:00 pm.. or around that time, i borrowed maesy's car as usual to drive to school. having a quiz that day at ANMATH, i was supossed to at least review at school.. but as soon as i stopped for gas, i discovered that i was already running flat... -__- ... nobody at PETRON would even help me.... unless they wanted to be paid... and me being short on money already, had to pay them...... took around 30 minutes to get help at their frikin gas station... and 15 to fix the tire... then i went home and got the other car...

2:30 pm.. parked at EGI tower, and scratched the car parked beside me... of all the times for that to happen, it was when i was already parking... so im running late, scratched a car and destroyed a tire... what else could come next??

3:40 pm.. a text arrives from my mother... in the midst of the ANMATH quiz, the broken tire and the other car being scratched, this comes next.. earlier, i noticed that a letter came from lasale... of course, i wanted to hide it coz im sure it concerned my grades... but i didnt... and then this comes... of course i didnt check the text as soon as i got it... but after the test, i read it.. and it really spelled trouble for me... so... i broke a tire, scratched a car, failed my test, and now my mom wants to kill me... (nobody saw it, but i cried...)

i dont know what time i went home... probably around 6:30... from that time until 7:15, it was a scolding... with the ultimate phrase.. "you are grounded until the end of the term"... T_T ...

if it was just the grades, i would have been fine... but with all that sinking into just a few hours after lunch, who wouldnt breakdown?

after deep thinking.. i finally found out how destroyed the wheel... it started probably on monday... i was noticing how odd the car was moving to the right... but still i drove on, and forgot about it... i drove from lasale to smb, then to our house......... and since flat tires make cars go into different directions....... you can pretty much get the conclusion there........ so im feeling bad from that thought, then there is the car i scratched... which luckyly the owner of that car didnt notice... but still... scratching another car will make ur mind sick...

with all that rumbling around my mind, i couldnt concentrate on the test....... so i got most of my formulas screwed up and reversed....... T_T which led me to failing the test.......

and after that, the scolding came................ so after such a fucked up day, what good thing will come out of it??? -__- coz if there is something bad, something good has to come next.. right??

well to those who were wondering what happened to me... thats it...

never trust petron crew.... grrr.....
when the car moves into a different direction... check everything..
when scratching another car... wish to hell that the owner doesnt see it...

im out.........

now isnt the time......

2006-03-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

to write a new post... coz im going busy mode...

sorry.. nothing to write this time...

in case you are wondering...

2006-03-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

the last 2 posts were created under the influence of anger, distress, helplessness, disappointment, and all that crap...

-__-

and i dont know what im doing anymore...
i have been editing those 2 entries over and over and over and over again... not deleting content.. but adding content....

god damn pc still isnt fixed...... GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

burning time...

2006-03-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

i stole this from eijans blog just now...
and yeah... i made this right after i wrote the previous one... -__-

three names you go by:
1. jason
2. jace
3. fish, fishy

three screen names you have had:
1. epidemic22
2. 3m&J
3. chaosfanatic
4. HeavyGravity
(4 yan.. baket? ano angal mo???)

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. height
2. built
3. eyes

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. things that grow on my face
2. nails
3. hair

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. spanish
3. ewan

three things that scare you:
1. Losing loved ones
2. things that crawl and are dirty (rats, roaches, lizards)
3. horror houses

three of your everyday essentials:
1. Cellphone
2. Money
3. Internet

three of your favorite musical artists:
- unfortunately, this stupid boy doesnt know any artist... ok???

three of your favorite songs:
1. "Killing loneliness" by H.I.M.
2. "The Suffering" (will check ipod as to who wrote the song... -__- stupid i tell yah..)
3. i dont know anymore...

three things you want in a relationship:
1. Loyalty
2. Honesty
3. Happiness

three lies and truths in no particular order:

lies:
1. the world is flat (duhh)
2. if you pray hard enough, you will get what u want (has this lie happened to you?)
3. bingi ako.. manhid ako.. d ako nasasaktan..

truth:
1. I Love Dione!!
2. Life is so redundant
3. This world we live in sucks...

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Hair
2. Face
3. Body

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Internet
2. Games
3. Going to theme parks (not enchanted kingdom types... enchanted sucks!!)
(sad isnt it?? -__- no other hobbies... GRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. have our computer fixed
2. PASS THIRD TERM WITHOUT ANY FAILURES
3. Be with Dione...

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Pilot
2. Programmer
3. Psychologist

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Ohio (da rollercoasters there are suppah!!!)
2. Six Flags Magic Mountain
3. A beach without squatters (Boracay is too congested, others just have squatters in them)

three kid's names you like:
1. Malay
2. Ko
3. Pa

three things you want to do before you die:
1. Reach at least 80 years
2. Fly an Airplane
3. Visit all the countries

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I like playing sports,
2. I play games
3. I love airplanes (jet fighters)

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. chismoso ako
2. moody
3. i dunno anymore

three celeb crushes:
1. ewan
2. ko
3. ba

three people that i would like to see take this quiz:
1. i
2. dnt
3. care

-__-

a candid face.. a crying soul..

2006-03-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

currently, my pc is in the works... it went broke, and had to be reformatted... all the pictures, files and stuff were gone, and my sister now has to contend again with the fact that her important files have been lost... T_T

its now 12:00 am, and it is now downloading the neccessary files (ym, mozilla, limewire), and tomorow, the continuation of the other files (kodak, games) . . . .

and now i have to catch up with my machine project in compro2 and also do our engltwo things (body of research, introduction, other stuff) and tryo not to fail my anmath (which is clearly failed to me). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

also, i have to do other chores at home, since our maid hasnt yet returned... -__-

i am currently getting behind in studies...
i am currently being battered emotionally...
i am currently feeling helpless...
i just wanna scream so loud until my vocal cords burst...
i wanna get away from all this chaos...

i may be presenting a happy face... but its just there to fool all of you... for that, im sorry...

my current slogan that runs through me is:
"Ok lang na ako ang malungkot.. wag lang kayo.. Ok lang na ako ang magalit.. wag lang kayo.. Ok lang na ako ang masiraan.. wag lang kayo.."

and yeah... i was asked this question: "what other hobbies do you like?"
my answer: "i dunno"
next comment: "dont tell me the only thing you like are games? (somewhat like that..)"

(-__- i dnt mind the question... so dont worry... this is an issue i must resolve on my own)

answering swimming would be a very big joke...
answering basketball would be another big joke
realization: I DONT KNOW ANYTHING BUT GAMES!!!
am i that much of a lozer? coz if i am... whats the point?
i am completely disappointed in myself... im failing grades, i stopped swimming, im becoming a bum... im giving up on a lot of things....... my life is all about games? wtf jason... wtf... -__-

im no psychic, but i know what is going though your mind...
i just want to cry right now...

i have been clearly lying to myself all these years...

-__- im out...

the imagination...

2006-02-26T02:12:00.000+08:00

i found myself to have had a wonderful imagination...

when i was a kid (until last year), i kept messing around with my lego set... and i often made some very nice objects, like prisons, houses, cars, motorbikes, hoverbikes, crappy reproductions of x-wing fighters and other spaceships, some boats, submarines, warships, more spaceships, helicopters, helicopters that can turn into airplanes, airplanes... and a whole lot more, or i think thats most of what i do... yes... pretty childish, and to think i kept doing that until last year... but somehow, i lost interest in playing with that lego set.. same with my other toys........

and just this evening... while i was with dione, xave, beli and the clomites in alabang country club while staring at the sky... i realized something very sad... i lost a part of me...

before, i could see different things in the clouds.. you know, shapes... by staring at the clouds, i could see heads, dragons, animals, monsters and stuff like that... making my imagination run wild... but this evening, i couldnt see anything... the clouds showed many things... i know, since the clouds were very fluffy, and xave and dione could see many things... i, on the other hand couldnt see anything... probably a shallow thing to be sad about... but its the realization which really got to me... i am losing a part of myself...

so now you are probably wondering... will i go back to my days where i played the lego sets? nyahahahaha... if i have nothing to do.. probably... but i dnt think so anymore... as much as i have lost a part of my imagination, i am more welcome to accept anything new.. and as much as that sounds good.. i think that the new thing coming into my life now is better than anything else... its like an upgrade to my own self.. a welcome upgrade... ^__^

anyways... i am sad to know that my imaginative powers are slowly slipping away.. it really sucks to have these kinds of realizations.. but its the truth... T_T i will do something about it though... but not stick to playing lego sets... nyahahahaha!!!

im out... thanks 4 readin another realization of mine.. ^__^

i love you dione !!! ^__^

i dont know what to write!!! -_-

2006-02-22T13:05:00.000+08:00

hmmmm...... basically the title says it all

im now broke... only having 60 pesos for the entire week... T_T craap...
and im still blog blanked... >,.,<

will write if i get inspired with ideas...

i miss u!! *huuuuuuuug*

not in da mood...

2006-02-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

sorry... not in da mood to write a new blog entry... >,.,<

nor am i in the mood to do anything...

hapee deezee valentines!! ^_^

2006-02-14T20:28:00.000+08:00

valentines day... somehow, this day only started to matter to me today... in the past few years of my existence... valentines day never meant anything to me.. but now, err... its a happee deezee valentines!!!

i went to csa and arrived at 10 am... but the stoopeed guards wont let me in... they wanted to call the head teacher to confirm if i could go in... stoooooooopeeeeeeeeed!!! >,.,< there are so many drivers and others who dont even study in csa and they wouldnt let an alumni who spent more than 10 years in that jail in the school... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................................... ahehehe... but well, after waitin for a few minutes.. i met up with dione and while waiting for her to dress up, i went to visit my former bus mother, who is still like my mother... ahehehe... she well, took care of me from grade 2 all the way till i graduated... thanks... ^_^ after that.. me and dione went to glorietta... with an end result.. killing loneliness!! ahehehe... though we didnt do anything (im sorry abt that... T_T)... i still enjoyed the time i got to spend with you... ^_^

ahihi.. after that, i had to make a run for class because of the long lines in the mrt... made it in time.. and it felt like a waste for i just slept in class... ahehehe... after that we went to play a little, then ate.. then went home...

it was basically another day.. made special because of you... ^_^ ahihihi... *hug* i miss u already... ^_^

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERONE!!! ^_^

EUROSTAR!!! ^_^ ...

2006-02-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

ahihihi... im still feelin kinda dizzy as im postin this blog entry... mainly because of the euro-star carnival... ahihihi..

euro star carnival.. some people say it sucked.. some say it rocked.. we say its the latter!! though it was a small place... a very small place (only had around 8 rides, 2 of which are for kids, and lots of xpensive arcade games.) although it was very small, the rides were very intense!! the very 1st ride we rode made beli and xave roll around the platform of the ride.. ahihih.. we got all dizzy... deezzee!!! ahahaha... after we rode the good rides.. we went home a lot more dizzy than the first ride... i dont know why others say it sucked.. maybe because it had very few rides, or maybe the place was very empty... but the rides were coooooooooooooooooooool!!! go there if you wanna see it... best time? mondays to thursdays... go there around 5 pm... you will be satisfied enough that you will be going home around 9-10 pm... so those coming from school will have enough time to ride all the good rides there... provided that there are not that many people... ahehehe... so go and visit it... it will close permanently after the last week of febuary... shet, parang ako advertisment hahaha...

and also... ^_^

ahihihi... and.. err... yeah... got to spend time with dione!! ^_^ ahihihi... *hug*

now im burnin time before valentines comes up... ^__^ ahehehe... and im deezee!!! wahahaha!!! ^_^ *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug* ahihihi!!!

my view on destiny...

2006-02-07T09:16:00.000+08:00

warning.. this may get confusing.. ^_^

Destiny.. some dont believe in it, some do... some make stories that God gave them total control over their lives... others say "ITS MY DESTINY TO BE ... " but dont you think that those 2 ideas are just the same? logically speaking, if God gave you control over your life.. wouldnt that be the same as being given your destiny?

sometimes.. i wonder about this myself.. wondering about my destiny.. then i get the idea that i shouldnt be doing anything.. coz probably, my destiny would be delivered to me... and yet i would still move around and do stuff... not because im trying to fulfill whatever destiny has in plan for me.. but because i want to.. and with that idea, i then realize, "destiny" probably wants me to "move around."

in my old ideas about this.. i said that probably a long time ago.. a book was created.. and now, we are the characters in that book.. probably a sad way to think about life.. much like the book "Sophies World." but well.. how could psychics read whatever is about to happen to most people? they could probably make intelligent guesses or false predictions, like you will become rich someday, or you will have the best success story ever.. or some true psychics will tell you the truth about a part of your future.. but nevertheless... it was thier destiny to tell you your destiny... or their job to tell you a lie.. whatever it may be... it was either will and destiny to be in that profession...

now for those people who still dont believe in this logical analogy, ask yourself this... is it your will to read this blog entry? is it your will that you arent believing in whatever words are written here? is it your will that you are in front of your computer? is it your will that you ate probably a few minutes or a few hours ago? is it your will? now ask yourself... what if it was part of your destiny to do all that?

a big gap...

2006-02-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

sorry for not being able to post anything these past few weeks...

i am errr... happily distracted to write anything chaotic.. ^_^

this gap will probably be torn down after another few days.. ^_^

Afterburners...

2006-01-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

In Jet planes, afterburners are used to give extra speed during flight.. so i ask the people online in my ym as to what gives them extra energy... (i do this because i dnt have anything to write)

rai: butsecks
master reggie(using pao's ym): something sugary
dione: chocolates and honey stars

ergggg.... walang nagrereply........................ >,.,<

update ko to pag madami na nag reply.... hui mag reply naman kau!!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T

Blank Chaos...

2006-01-24T20:32:00.000+08:00

blank.. this is what happens to me whenever i want to write something in my blog... my mind goes blank.. as compared to before, im drawing on blankness now.. got no inspiration for my blog ideas... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!! this cannut be!!! i cant type anything!!! ergggg..... eto na lang.. heehee..

Teacher: Takyo, pls read ur not less than 100-word essay abt ur cat.

Takyo: YES MAM!! My cat *bow*. I have a cat. Her name is mingming. Yesterday, she was lost. I looked for her. Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!
Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?
Ming!Ming! Where are u mingming? Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!
Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?
Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming!Ming?Ming?Ming?Ming!Ming! My Cat *bow*.

key to the cage..

2006-01-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

almost everyone who knows me knows that i am not that intimidating.. i try to be, but it just does not suit me.. as far as i can remember, iwas pushed around during my grade school days despite my height advantage... since then, me trying to be intimidating was soon to be impossible..

since then i started to believe in karma.. i believed that those who kept pushing me around would sooner or later get kicked out of school.. and they did.. while others became my aquaintance in the later portion of my life...

but dont think anger is already deleted in my range of emotions.. if anything, its my emotions which lack control.. at most times i may seem just relaxed and happy, but sometimes, it is only a facade to an angry and pissed human..

while some may show their anger in public, my approach would be to "keep it in a cage." i know most would say not to keep your anger inside you.. just let it out or share it with your friends... this attidude let me become a mostly shy person.. yesss.. SHY!!! until i can find a connection with someone, probably one with the same interests, i would mostly give a regulay hello and hi to him... my shyness goes away once i get to find the right connections.. but there is still that level of confidentiality i will always have.. rarely would i share something not related to the topic.. and i would rather keep quiet than make a comment that would result to the skill "Last Word." its been in my experience.. and that feeling is quite irritating and degrading.. but now, i wouldnt care if anyone called me corny..

but something i never show to anyone would be my angry mood.. i have only shown this side maybe twice in my life.. when you think that im already angry.. im not, i just want to keep silent and let things pass quickly.. like forgive and forget.. that is what im practicing right now... but when words just keep going out of bounds.. hmm, depends on how out of bounds it goes.. anyway, i would like to think that i already saw what my anger can do.. i can remember threatening my sister with one of our golf clubs.. hmmm... yeah, i did that twice... but i dont think i would have the balls to do that.. my conscience would take a beating if i did that... not to mention the heat i would get from my parents... as much as possible, this angry side is something i wouldnt like to unleash..

as for this cage of emotions.. i wouldnt like to unlock it now.. anger is something anyone should unlock.. this key to the cage of anger is something to remain hidden inside me.. unless someone triggers it and would be the unfortunate target.. which i believe would be far from happening.. given my laid back attitude...

the void...

2006-01-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

i discovered something about me a few months before.. and i was trying to deny it, but now.. im writing about it..

there is something wrong with me.. but not in a mentally sort of way.. i reflected on myself as to why i was so addicted to games.. games waste time and money.. but still i play them.. dota is one of my addictions, and i dont know why im so addicted to it.. so is rf, and in a few days, it will cost me greatly.. but i am constantly searching for something else.. i am getting tired easily with these games.. i already want to stop playing rf.. i have already stopped RO.. i am getting sick of this.. and it feels like my addiction to playing games is only my temporary solution to whatever is currently missing... if some have noticed, i am regularly online in my yahoo messenger while some people continue playing RF (kilala nyo na kung sino kau hehehe)... i would rather spend time talking to people than playing games.. maybe a little socializing will fill this void, maybe.. since dota is such a sociable game, maybe that is why i keep on playing.. i dont know exactly.. i wake up every morning.. do the usual routine, go to school, do the usual routine, go hame, do the usual routine, then sleep.. rinse and repeat... i am tired of this.. i probably need something new, something to look forward to... something to fill up this void..

you know what, thank you guys for keeping this void half full... seriously, you all give meaning to looking forward into a new day.. ^_^ kahit sabihan nyo man ako korny.. at least masaya kau (muka naman e.. hehe)...

now to continue this entry..

this is kinda hard for me to write.. since i am buried within self denial most of the time..
this void could probably mean something.. which i am sure most of you think i need someone to love.. err.. could be, i am also thinking about that possibility.. but i think that wouldnt be it.. ^^

ok.. i dont know what to type anymore.. since right now i aint in the mood of talking about this void, since i dont feel it at this time.. hehe.. this could be a wrong time to talk about this.. ill probably write a continuation of this entry some other time.. ^_^

Commuting Mishaps...

2006-01-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

sleeping can do wonders for you... it relaxes you, gives you energy, may give you headaches.. and on some occasions.. makes you waste money and time...

the earliest which i can remember having a commute mishap was when i rode a bus from ayala to FTI.. i rode at around 5pm.. and i slept inside the bus.. b4 i knew it, it was already 6:30pm and the bus driver was waking me up... and i missed my stop... quite embarassing, but lucky since nothing was stolen from me...

another commuting mishap was in the same place.. but this time, my anger did this.. since it was already late and most busses from ayala to bicutan or FTI were full and i was also waiting for 30 mins for a bus.. my patience was already wearing thin.. then i saw a bus which was still accepting passengers.. but because of the crowd, i missed the bus.. i told them "excuse me!!" but seems like they werent listening... when the bus left, i got so frustrated that i slammed my plastic envelope right into the wall... causing quite a few stares... to make matters worse, i was wearing my high school uniform that time.. i got embarassed a bit, got my envelope and waited for another bus... while trying to cool myself down...

the next commuting mishaps all occured on the jeeps... these days, i sleep on the jeep since it takes them an eternity to get to the destination... well.. from our village to pasay, i managed to skip the intersection a few times because i was either asleep or the driver didnt stop for us... the next set was the one going home from pasay to our village... every now and then, i skip our village and go straight to bicutan.. quite costly since i have to pay an extra 6 pesos... all because i sleep on the jeep... but the worst incident just happened this evening... i slept.. and managed to get myself into sucat... err... thats the farthest i have gotten myself while sleeping... when i went back the way i came.. i was wondering to myself how i could have slept the entire service road from bicutan to sucat.. because that road was so long, and there were many bumps on the road...

sometimes.. sleeping can be a real pain.. hehehe..
in the words of one of my youngest cousins: "JACE!! ANO KA BA JACE!!"

from yesterday to today...

2006-01-03T14:21:00.000+08:00

after typing the previous post and a few more minutes of talks with my classmates, i got a text which definetly surprised me... in summary, it said: "we are going to your house" ...

errr... i didnt know if they were lying or not.. but definetly i was surprised... our house is still a mess, and they may be appearing in a few minutes.. and definetly after a few minutes, i heard doors closing outside the house... i went outside and sure enough, they were there... all of them... which surprised me even more... marcus, beli, xave, dione and robert were outside my house at 10:00 pm.. its 10 o'clock, do you know where your brain is? i became all the more confused.. since i got a few unanswered questions already... anyway, i opened the gate.. and they complained as to why i wasnt able to go with them to the mall.. if u read my previous entry.. you would know the answer... anyway, after that.. we spent some time outside talking about stuff.. then we went inside to watch a movie.. and they picked doom... ahehehe.. the movie ended at 12:30... which was late hehehe.. and after a few more talks and a few goodbyes.. they went off back home..

actually, i was shock by this.. but at a time when i was really getting pissed already, they came and.. err, cheered me up.. they may not know it, but u guys came right on time.. and i thank you for unwinding my already messed up mind... ^_^ ty, ty, ty!!!

as for today.. i was awakened by my mom to remind me about the dsl installation.. then told me just to go pay my tuition after the dsl got installed... i went back to sleep.. and woke up at 6... and after a short debate with myself.. i decided to go to school to pay my tuition.. i left home by 6:30 and arrived by 7:10... and the accounting opens at 8:00 am... so after waiting for a few minutes.. i lined up by 7:45 and by 8:20.. i was already done.. i met ry after paying my tuition and accompanied him when he paid his tuition.. then rainier and marvin came and we waited for him.. but when he lost his eaf.. err, we left him already hehehe...me and ry went to kfc.. then rai and glen followed.. then rain and his friend.. after which they went back to finish their business, while me, ry, rai and marvin.. we played 2 crazy dota games (1st was -dm -ar -sm.. second was -dm -ar -sc -sm)... hehehe.. after that, i had to go home coz my sister is already telling me to go home because of the dsl (which came at around 10:00... and i was in school still).. turns out.. they had to extend the antenna coz they have no signal (parang sun pala ang signal...).. my sister had to pay an extra 1300 pesos... and she is still in grade 6.. if u ask, that money came from christmas.... err anyway.. i left school at 1:00 and arrived 30 mins later... only to find out that they just left... anyway i had to check a few things, replace a few cables.. and restart the pc a couple of times since the sounds were screwed again.. after which, i noticed that the wifi conection kept getting lost.. and i tried to call the contractors about that.. but alas, no answer... and rf isnt working now still... whatta world.. neeed to ask them how to fix this thing...

right now.. im still trying to connect to rf.. well, im ending this entry hehehe..

..........

2006-01-02T21:05:00.000+08:00

hmm... this will be a rant, since voicing out my emotions right now will be a very bad idea...

we were supposed to have our dsl connection today.. unfortunately, it never came... i heard it took long to have a dsl connection.. but this was unreasonable......

we were told that on dec 30, the contractors would send their men to have the dsl installed.. i had to stay the entire day at home, and they never came... next day, they said our sched was supposed to be on jan 2.. which is now... which never came.. again!!! i was nailed again into our house because of some stupid people who cant seem to get to our house to do their job... me being stuck to the house while waiting for something which never came really stinks...

hope tomorrow they come....

i dont know why im stressed out today.. got this dsl problem, now im stressed about tomorow's tuition paying.. since im thinking about adjusting.. more problems will come with regards to my tuition... and with my mom having a weird thing about ranting today... i am also trying to keep distance from that.. and if i adjust.. i expect a pissed mother knocking on my back.. which i want to avoid..... im a psychological mess right now.... cant relax my mind...

..........................................................................

Nothing to do...

2006-01-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

err.. got nothing to do.. and i find myself once again writing a nonsense blog entry..

hehehe... i lost 20 pesos yesterday to my little sister (grade 6) while playing poker.. yes, poker.. texas hold'em (a.k.a. t.v. poker)... grrrrrr, she beat me, my big sister and my dad... kinda a weird way to spend both money and time.. especially before the new year celebration.. but it was fun, until i had to walk out of the table.. T_T

this morning, we were supposed to go to church, but unusually, our mom didnt get angry about us not going to church... well, given that my mom was going to japan and my dad was going to meet osama bin laden (going to riad) for work, err, if ur confused.. its because my parents work for Philippine Airlines as flight attendants... well anyway, my mom didnt get mad.. weird since she always tells us to go to church.. probably because church starts at 9:30, and i woke up at 10.. not to mention the 30 min drive to get there.... hehehe.. so we just went to cubao to meet up with my other lolo's and lola's... and me and my little sis played poker there.. this time just regular chips.. dont want to risk losing more money.. T_T ... anyway, i sent my little sis off the table.. weeeeeeeeee, revenge is so much sweeter when money is involved.. T_T
anyway.. we got beat also when my cousin (younger than my sister) sent me, lil sis, and his dad off the table.. in quite the shortest match i have ever seen.... heehee lucky bastard!! anyway.. all this happened after lunch, which included probably the most delicious roast beef i have ever eaten.. errr, one reason why i go there is to eat the roast beef.. trust me, its very very delicious... prepared by my very wonderful lola... anyway.. after lunch and the usual stroy telling and the poker game.. we went home bcoz of my big sister having things to do at home.. i managed to have the same driving time as my sis.. she drove in 20 to cubao, me also in 20 mins... heeheehee........

nothing to dooooooooooooo.... just watched doom.. and it was.. err, weird... sure.. classic hero only survives type.. but when the firest person view started... i was both exited to see it.. and unsatified when the scene ended.... oh sure, it looked like a stage of virtua cop.. with a zombie coming out of a corner with an axe... but it was corny!! that was corny.. people say im corny.. and i found that part corny.. so that was probably super corny!!! hahaha... im no judge of movies... but that movie was just predictable.. xcept when the rock became hostile.. aftr that, it was more predictable...

hmmm... still nothing to do.......... just found out our classes start at jan 4... allowance giving time again... and errrr........... blank mind.. heeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeee..........

what else can i write about... xmas passed, new year's celebration done, vacation is about to be over... err yeah, i can probably talk about our trip to jakarta...

we stayed in jakarta for approximately 3 days.. we arrived there at 8pm, stayed for 2 days total, and left there at 5:30 am... so 2 and a half day stay... first impression was that jakarta was more organized than manila.. next day, that thought was immediatly corrected when i saw the chaos.... yes, CHAOS!!! sure, roads were organized (and jakarta roads are righthanded.. err, cars have the driver seat at the right hand..), but the traffic was soooooo bad..... being stuck in a traffic jam in manila is probably a welcoming change in jakarta... no wonder there were so many motorcycles, they can avoid traffic... well anyway, 1st day, we went to one of their malls... and it made megamall look small... it was a 2 sided mall with 5 floors, much like megamall... but one side (call it side A), is filled with clothes, dvd's, shoes, bags, more clothes dvd's bags shoes... whatever fasion items, you will find there... the other side are filled with electronics... more dvd's, cd's, consoles, pc parts, name it, they got it... well, most of it anyway... anyway, after letting us off there.. we were supposed to meet by 2pm at mcdonalds... me, my big sister and my mom split up.. i went to the electronics side, they went to the shoppers trap... hehehe... anyway.. i waited up until 2:30pm.. they didnt show up.. be having no patience, kept walking around and kept saying that they are usually late when shopping.. that until i walked outside the mall and saw another mcdonalds sign aross the street.. that worried me bcoz they might be there.. so i had to cross the road, which unfortunately for me.. took a much longer route.. anyways, when i got there.. they were there.. turns out.. there was more than one mcdonalds in that mall... crappy wait... hehehe, anyway they bought quite a lot of, errr... items... heehee, the way home was another long wait bcoz of the traffic... next day, we went to their safari... hehehe, though another long waiting time, it was definetly worth it.. heehee, after seeing all those greedy zebras and llamas.. and they were really greedy... on the way to the safari, there were stalls selling lots of carrots... good thing we bought.. those were either hungry or greedy animals... a zebra chased our car bcoz we didnt give it a carrot... hehehe... anyway, we saw.. err... deer, elephants, tiger, white tiger, lion, antelopes, peacocks, tapirs, buffalos, and more... after the safari, we went to the zoo.. which had an aviary and a baby zoo.. hehehe, we had pictures with a baby cheetah, tiger and a white tiger.. damn those animals were lazy.. after all the pictures were taken, they went back to their sleepy poses.. heehee, damn cute cats anyway.. so we also saw kangaroos, meercats, apes, otters and also more which i cant remember... heehee, after the safari, we went back to the mall bcoz my sis and my mom wanted to have a massage.. i on the other hand went back to the hotel... which took 1 hour and 30 mins on car... thats from the mall to the hotel...... it usually was only 30 mins.. this one took forever........ god damn traffic... anyway.. they came home brining mcdo for dinner... nxt day, we woke up at 2:30 am to get prepared for the flight... and arrived back in the phil by 2 pm...

well.. thats the summary of what happened in jakarta... hehehe... err, now what else to do... watching disney channel this time.. mulan 2... errr..... ho hum......

nothing to do...... dont want to play rf yet..... err............

well.. this entry is kinda long for someone with nothing to do... so this ends here hehehe... happy new year once again!!! ^^

Happy New Year!!

2005-12-31T15:24:00.000+08:00

hmm.. making this short would be kinda sad.. so ill try to make it as long as i can.

in the coming new year, obviously there will be others making their new years resolution.. which brings it to the question.. how long are you willing to stick to it??

according to the dictionary, resolution comes from resolute, which means: coming from or characterterized by determination... err, what does that mean?? ahhhhh... from determination.. how determined are you to do what you promised.....

in our family (and my own experience), resolutions are hardly succesful. we promise to do things, which in 2 months, we are already breaking... especially if the resolution is "I WILL STUDY TO GET GOOD GRADES!!" now how many times have i said that, and obviously it never worked... or how about "I WILL SAVE UP FOR THAT (whatever item you wish for whcih is expensive)" errrr... never worked.. how about your parents wish to "LOSE WEIGHT!!" uhhhh... some stick to it, but you would find your parents stuffing their faces when the food comes in your new years party, on their birthdays, on other parties, and on other special occasions...

resolutions are a test to one's determination, and most often, they dont work... but some do.. i mean, if your resolution is to pass whatever subject you are in trouble, then i could happen... the trick is to do things one step at a time.. putting a grand scale plan in your brain brings a lot of pressure, and most people crack under pressure.. hahaha.. i just got lost... dont know what im talkin (or typing) about... errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........

welll.. since i got lost, ill just write my resolutions and see what i can accomplish...

-get good grades
-finish college w/o any more failures
-win at least a tournament in dota
-finally get my license and have no car accidents
-not blow my fingers after setting off fireworks
-return all borrowed items
-clean my room
-try to continue this blog
-stop making loans
-learn other technical stuff
-keep myself healthy
-not smoke ever
-try to lessen addiction to games

thats all i can think about.. not so intimidating right?? i hope most of these come true.. especially that part of not asking for money from friends, cleaing my room, lessen addiction to games, and having no car accidents...

heehee.. finally emptied my mind... i wish you all a happy, wonderful, accident free and prosperous new year!!! may you have more blessings to come!!!

Parental Guidance??

2005-12-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

Parental Guides..

This is something i learned from my own parents, and it wouldnt be a surprise if your parents exhibited the same actions...

+ A Happy Parent +

-happens when you made their expectations or do something which pleases them

what happens??

-you can ask for most things with a 80% success rate.. as long as the thing you want is within their known limits.. ex: go eat out, joke them a lot, ask for money, go out with friends

+ A Normal Parent +

-when there is nothing happening around the house

what happens??

-you can get a 60% success rate for most things you want.. but dont go too far.. they want something happening around them, so bug them a little.. if they say no, dont force it too much...

+ Busy Parent +

-when they are doing chores/work

what happens??

-you get asked to do some chores as well.. so dont resist. a busy parent could turn to be your worst enemy with all the stress he/she has..
-irritate them, you could get in big trouble
-35% chance.. you could get lucky if they give you what you want, that means they dont want you bugging them..

+ Angry Parent +

-when things dont go their way

what happens??

-10% chance of getting what you want..
-will rant about anything.. so beware
-if you are the reason of their grief with proper reasons... hide in your room, tune them out, or go to sleep...
-if you just became their target because of some other thing which happened.. ignore them.. dont speak anymore since they will just keep on insisting thet they are right..
-eternal rule: dont correct them when they are boiling mad.. make sure you know how angry your parents are before correcting them.. and when you do, make sure you also have supporting evidence of your claim... or else they will just turn it around or change topics...
-anther rule: make sure your sibling are with you.. you may need their support in your fight or grief..
-just wade out their anger.. it will be gone in 2 or 3 days..
-if you have been grounded, given any time limit, expect them to forget about it in 1 week... even if they say ur grounded for 3 months.. that would still be 1 week...

that is basically it.. gotta stop typing since my mom is kinda irritated at me and is making me sleep now... ^_^ heeheehee.. now you know ehere i got the inspiration to do this.. night night!! ^^

Something for all...

2005-12-21T19:03:00.000+08:00

in a few days, christmas (a.k.a. payday) will be coming soon. obviously, this is a time of joy and hapiness, so all you sad people out there.. cheer up!! this aint the time to be sad!!!

to all those goin to different places, those dion different things.. just be safe and happy!! hehe.. especially to the davao boys, drew and ron.. be safe and have yourselves a merry christmas!! same goes to reg and others who are goin to the provinces.. tell the person who is driving to be careful.. and also have a merry christmas!! actually, i have nothing else to write (or type, in this case) for this entry.. i can say all the merry christmas shit, but im sure you have heard it oh so many times.. but still.. merry christmas to all!!

to my friends and relatives.... have yourselves a lovely christmas!!

GAB!! mag ingat ka sa kung ano man gagawin mo... bsta, best wishes sau.. magpakita ka sa birthday mo ha!!! lilibre mo pa kami sa chizzy or sa wok dis way!!! hahaha!!! wag masyado pasaway.. and wag tayo masyado magkita sa rf.. malaking gyera mangyayari cguro hahaha!!!

LAST MERRY CHRISTMAS KO NA TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ay.. dalawa pala yan....... -_-

Fighting for pride...

2005-12-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

This night... a little battle occured in Chizzy. This little battle occured between 2 groups of friends, one obviously louder than the other. Let us refer to them as... team "Varsity" and us.. team "FURBY" (o yan na eijan ha... ilalagay ko na team furby dyan!!)

this little feud started a few days ago when one of them started calling our fiend "Ron" jologs... and some other "hirits." a while ago.. my call to play dota had a right timing coz they were there.. and they accepted our offer..

-Early Game-

They were pretty noisy.. after they got the first blood against me (but they died first because of the sentinel.. and it hurts if you become the 1st blood), after they pushed our towers.. and also after the song with the lyrics "humps humps," they got even noisier...

-Mid Game-

Ron got redemption against them by getting a beyond godlike streak.. i on the other hand kept getting worse with my game after dying a few times in a row... but still, the balance was starting to shift since they were getting careless.. and they didnt even realize it since they were still noisy...

-Late Game-

Another mistake on their part cost them the match.. after one of our pushes, they tried to counter but to no avail.. one by one, they crumbled and fell.. and before we could destroy their second mid tower, their names all had numbers beside them. we managed to destroy their last tower in the mid and also the barracks before they could revive.. oddly, they all shut up!! wow... after all that talk.. they actually shut up(actually, "he" shut up.. in fairness, only one person was making all the talk.. others were just riding with him).

This game was not just a regular game.. it was a battle for our pride. We werent only fighting for ourselves or for Ron's sake.. we fought for our team.. their insults to ron were reflected to us, and each insult tore our pride.. as for our defence.. we dont talk much when playing, unless we joke around or someone really aint paying attention to what is written.. but otherwise, we aint noisy... we just get irritated if there is a very noisy team who thinks nobody can beat them... and if insults are thrown at any one of us.. be sure that your talk can match up with you dota game...

We are a team... we fight for each others pride... that how we are.. obviously its the same with every group of friends... ROCK ON!!!

My Chaotic Friends Version 2.1

2005-12-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

writers notes:

-this topic has been inspired my gab and nerry.. pero la ako pake kung gaya gaya ako!!! hahaha!!!
-version 2 to dahil nag windows error ako... kaya kelangan ulitin lahat.. >,.,<
- naging 2.1 ito dahil may nakalimutan akong tao... SORRY RON G!!!

My Chaotic Group of Friends

Hmmm... Round 2.. WRITE!!
Friends are there in your ups and downs, in your lefts and rights. They are there in your worst state, and also there in your best form. They catch you when you fall, and toss you when you jump. They shout at you when you make mistakes, but curse at you for creating accomplishments... Thats what friends are for... i will create short descriptions about you guyz in chronological order...

Firstly, The Original Zlackerz..

Xave, Beli, Cloma, Dione, Carla, Luna, Marcus, Porto

Xave - yeah... kasama ko sa Initial D, naghatak sakin mapunta sa loki, naghatak sakin mapunta sa rf, naghatak sakin mapunta sa gunz... hahaha. pero never cya naging b.i. (xcept sa games hahaha). very trustable.. lagi p kmi sa bahay nila na22log!! hahaha, parang.. motel, este hotel hahaha!!! onting ingat sa driving hehehe.. and cool lang lagi, kaya mo yan!! ^_^

Beli - nackooooooo(Ron Gotauco,2005)... f4 na f4 na toh... haba na ng buhok hahaha... minsan tahimik... minsan lang.. hehehe, pero etong SUPAHFEESH(Beli,2005) na to e lagi masaya kasama... hahaha, pareho kmi ndi masyado umiinom.. and dats good... mabait kasi kami e!! hahaha!!

Cloma - sobrang hirap basahin utak ni2.. pero sobrang kulit rin naman!! eto isa pang hari ng ka-cornihan!! hahahahahaha!! rf adik to... sayang lang magaaway tayo sa altrax!! hahaha!!

Dione - NACKOOOOOOOOO!!! pinaka hyper sa grupo!! onting nerds lang (umm.. 5 small bits? lng ba un?), hyper mode na... parang lasing, pero ndi pa daw!! ahahahahaha!!! kasing bait ng kuya nya(yes.. kapatid nya si xave!!), makulit din.. sobra, lagi pinipisil braso ko kahit walang taba dun... hahaha...

Carla - isa pang makulit na tao.. partner in crime ni dione.. makulit din sobra, makapal ang kilay din!! /gg ahahahahaha.... sa simula tahimik.. pero pag nakapag 2nd gear na.. vroooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! hahahaha!!!

Luna - Ahmmmmmmmmmmmm.... ano b masasabi ko sa malansang isda na toh.. matalino to.. pero ndi ko alam kung bakit nag take 2 toh... so.... tinatamad ka ngayon!! hahaha... hoy! wag ka na mag yosi ha!! cigarete smoking is dangerous to ur freakin health!!! pero mabait to.. sobrang bait, pero tamad!! hahaha!!!

Marcus - eto.. isa pang nagyoyosi... dont u know... (ok, corny na nga ung una.. uulitin pa, kaya wag na lang!!). hahaha, pero never cya nag b.i. laklakero pa to.. hehehe, dami tips. mabait din.. ngayon... nagbababad sa ps2 games hahaha.. pero wawa naman... lonely sa haws, kaya dpat lagi namin kinakrash ang bahay mo!! /gg!!!

Porto - Shet! muntik ko na makalimutan tong gunggong na to!! How could i forget the most unique of us all... baket unique?? kasi... tatlo... not two but three!! yes!! THREE!! thee utongs to!! hahaha... pero idol kita kasi dalang dala mo ang confidence mo!! hehehe... saludo ako!!! pero bat ka nasa csb?? ndi 2loy tayo nagsasama masyado!!! grrrr.... hahaha oh well... hehehe.. etong taong i2.. kahit bihira lang namin makasama sa mga labasan... nasusulit naman nya sa kanyang kakulitan...

Ayan na yan... since high school pa sila, sila na kasama ko!! kahit ngayon.. ndi parin kami naghihiwalay masyado!! pano ba naman.. si beli kaklase ko sa algtrig, si xave kaklase ni beli sa englone, si marcus papunta pnta sa lasale kahit na may pasok cya, si dione, lagi nangungulit sa ym... e pano ba naman yan?? hahahahaha...

ngayon naman.. yung mga bago kong kaibigan sa college...

mark dagmil - tsong kung nasaan ka man... may u do ur best alwayz and dont fall for any stupid crap!! hahaha!! best wishes!!

TEAM DL [DL] & TEAM ZERO [0]

NGAYON... kahit wala n a to sa chronological order... eto parin kami.. pero hoy! ndi pa tayo pwede magkaroon ng iisang pangalan ha? grabe e.. lagi tayo nagkakahalo ng mga tao pag dating sa microsmith atchaka speedbytes!! haha, request lang po!!

TEAM DL [DL]

Rai - etong taong ito ang nagpakita sakin kung gaano kaliit ang mundo. sa lht ng taong pwede maging kaklase ko at maging kaibigan ko pa... cya pa talaga. e pano ba naman, kaibigan rin nya si xave and mga guildmates ko.. nakilala lang nya sa private server!! what are the chances??? hahaha... kaya to nasa team [DL] kasi matalino tong batang toh... sobra. sipag. tiyaga. yun un e... hirap din minsan basahin ang mukha.. mukhang seryoso, tapos bigla tatawa... hirap talaga.. ang TIGaAAAAS e!!

Gab - nackooooooo!!! eto ang loudspeaker ng grupo namin.. paakyat p lng kmi ng building ng gox, rinig n namin boses ni gab galing sa 3rd floor!! (ok.. exag ata yan... pero u get the point!! hahaha) isa din tong malaking at magaling na master debater!! wahahahaha... lufet toh, masipag din. pero di ko lam kung bat gus2 maging pari.. e halatang may minamahal cya... ?.?

Ron Chiu - ndi to pwede tawagin na ron lang.. kasi may isa pang ron kami kasama!! anywayz, eto ang isa sa mga na-discover kong naglalaro rin ng dota.. ewan ko nga lang kung pano ko to naging ka-klose nung una.. pero dats life e... hahaha, isa din sa mga nagturo ng basics sakin sa dota. mabait.. pero minsan sobrang gulo. lakas pa mag mura.. grabe.. pati yung "grrrrrrabeeee" rin e... lalo na yung "gaguuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(Ron Chiu,2005)" ewan ko lang kung baket cya ndi naglalaro masyado.. baka kasi malapit na pasko at balak mag bigay ng regalo?? o.O

Glenn - nackoooooooooooo(Ron G,2005)... isa to sa mga magugulo.. mukang tahimik, pero pag nakapag 2nd gear rin... nackooooooooooooooooo(Ron G,2005)!!! hilig rin sa mga bomba, galit sa mga nagbibitbit ng spada!! hahahaha!!! saya rin kasama kasi ou8t of the blue, bigla ka lang bubunguin o kaya sasapakin o kaya kakaratehin!! hahaha!!

Jerik - eto ang isa pang certified DL, mayabang nga lang.. pero! PERO!!!!!! matalino talaga!!! biruin mo ba naman... mp namin ginawa nya sa isang araw!! e ung mga pinaglalagay nya dun isang week ata bago maintindihan e... ahh grabe jerik, saludo ako!!!

Drew - nackoooooooooooooooooo(Ron G,2005)(Sorry ron ahh... todo plagerism na ata toh!!)... si drew minsan mahirap intindihin.. pero naligtas ako ni drew ilang beses din hehehe... sa dota at sa mga bayaran!! hahaha...

Clarence - etong batang to ang bespend ni jerik.. ndi tong dalawang to matalo sa hiritan!! walang laban ang laki ni eijan sa mga binabanat ng dalawang ito!! si clarence ata ang pinaka matindi humirit e.. mabilis mag 2nd gear sa hiritan at sa kakulitan...

Owkei... yan na ang TEAM DL [DL].. ngayon naman ang TEAM ZERO [0]

Ry - isang malaking bading!! pero pinagkakaguluhan ng mga babae... grabe... sobra... lagi naman kalmado, xcept pag na-aasociate cya kay you know who... nackooooooooooooooooo(Ron G,2005)!!! wahahahaha... mabait rin to.. savior ko rin to, naliligtas din ako sa kapahamakan sa dota at sa buhay... lufet rin sa basketball... idol talaga, galing mag fake ng fake!!

Rain - NACKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(Ron G,2005)... etong taong ito ay ang hari ng ka-cornihan.. parang lang ako prinsipe kmpara kay rainer!! wahahahaha... isa pang fact, parang banko ko si rain... nag papaloloan lagi lalo na pag namomroblema ako.... hahaha... pero lupet sa kahit anong games na nilalaro nya... sa dota.. bihira bumaba ng 10 ang kills lagi.. diyos ng farming din to.. sobra... pero demonyo rin to.. sobrang b.i. grrrrrrrrrraaaaabbbbbbbbeee(Ron C,2005)!!! idadamay pa kami sa mga cut nya... sobra... tsk tsk tsk.. ayusin mo nga buhay mo!!

Eijan - eto... panay "now loading"... aftr 2 seconds lagi ang reaction. wahahahahahaha... hidden fact ni eijan.. nahawa na cya sa amin ni rain!!! parang kami nagkaroon ng adopted son... hahahahahaha.... matalinong bata rin to.. mayaman pa!! hahahaha, yoko na magkwento 2ngkol dyan hahaha.... matalino rin si eijan.. masipag din, at isang athlete(honestly, wala sa itsura mo).. hehe hilig sa basketball atchaka soccer atchaka baseball... ^_^

Nerry - etong kakistang ito ay sufer lufet sa music!! di lang pang dota tong lalakeng to.. pang music pa!! hehehe.. grabe.. haba na ng buhok mo... pagupit ka na!! lupet rin ni nerry sa basketball!!

Well.. yan na ang tean zero.. kasama ako dyan hehehe... ngayon naman, ang mga honorary members!!

Pao - bihira na namin makalaro magisa.. hehehe, ngayon kasi.. may ka tagteam parter na ngayon... the deadly rylai - sven combo!!! woooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! hahahahaha... tahimik rin si pao, pero mabait!! e bstah.. lufet ni pao!! hahaha!!!

Reggie - NACKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(Ron G,2005).. eto ang master ko.. ang labo na nga ng family tree e... di ko pa alam pano ako naging isda mo.. hahahahahahahaha!!! eto ang tag team partner ni reg.. hahahaha... mahilig rin mag scream of pain!! hehehehe...

Ron G - SHET SORRY NAKALIMUTAN KO ANG PARTNER IN CRIME KO!!! T_T si rin ang pinaka matiyaga sa amin lahat... pinaka matiyaga sa pagiging watcher!! ewan ko lang kung pano nya nagagawang i-resist ang urge na maglaro.. pero nagagawa nya. sobrang bait ni ron.. kulet pa ng muka lalo na pag nangungulet.. hehehe ^_^

Marvin - eto honorary talaga... eto ang P.R.O. namin sa microsmith.. tagahanap ng aming kalaban hehehe...

Eto ang mga nakakasama ko ngayon... mga kaibigan ko na tumutulong sakin sa araw araw kong pagpupunta sa dlsu at sa kung san san pa...

eto na... antok na ako e... sinimulan ko to ng 11 e.. ngayon, 1 na! SHET!! 1 NA??? potah!!! hahahaha... dats it pansit!! ndi na pde maulit!! wahahahaha!!!

bad tech luck....

2005-11-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my computer is almost ready to die... it has been reformatted 6 times by my count.. our cdr always closes as soon as it is opened... we have lost the screws to the casing... our mouse is on its 10th replacement.... our hard drive fans are dirty. probably an everyday challenge for all computer users... except for the amount of dirt which always occupies our computer. its pointless to clean our keyboard... everytime i clean it.. more dust, noodles, rice, even nails (yes.. HUMAN NAILS!!) would enter the deep places of our keyboard. last time i cleaned our cpu, dust bunnies the size of golf balls appeared... well, thats so much for our computer status.. now for mine...

with the bad things happening to my computer... i now have a hard time installing new games. need for speed 2 doesnt work anymore, homeworld 2 doesnt work also... maybe its beacause of our cdr... its so busted anyway... shet, gotta go get a new cdr.. another problem i have is that Rising Force doesnt work also... at first i guessed it was only our dial up connection that was the problem.. but now, i think its the hard drive. after reinstalling RF thrice, it still wont work, and this time it wont even start....... this bad luck even followed me all the way to school. yesterday, playing at speed bytes caused my computer to hang... also following that incident is another computer hang by plaing rf... not once, but twice.... grrrrrrr... even in microsmith, that bad luck followed me... and just this morning, i forgot my password in fedora... like crappppppp... also, there was no internet so i had to go down to microsmith to pay 10 pesos just to get what i needed. then i returned up back to the lab.. also to find out that the computer i was assigned to was not working properly... wahhhhhhhh....

hope all this crappiness stops... i am sick and tired of all these problems...

My First Blog...

2005-11-29T23:02:00.000+08:00

World of -=Cha[0]z=-

this does not refer to the 1st and heavily populated server on ragnarok online. This does not refer to the World of Warcraft. This probably refers more to my current status in life... pure chaos. Though my char name is chaosfanatic, i have never realized up until now that my life is a distinct personification of that name..

Chaosfanatic

what is chaos? the dictionary says that chaos is: disorder, confusion. hmmmm, lets see... i keep leaving things at home, especially my ballpen. my computer always seems broken. our house is most of the time in total disarray. my room.. is more of a mess. i have entered other peoples houses, and when they say that their room is messy... what the hell?? that is no where near messy!!! Now, DLSU was chaotic before.. how about now that all the media just targeted them? also, how about s11 batch 2005... every class we enter turn into chaos... also how about the swim team? also chaotic, especially if our coach is angry for no reason.. even my previous teams were in disarray...

now how about the fanatic thingy(thingee, theengee, thingggy??? haha me dont know!!)? fanatic: filled with mistaken enthusiasm... hahaha fist time i even checked the dictionary for these meanings... filled with mistaken enthusiam???? what the hell does that mean? i percieved "fanatic" as one who likes.. not one who has mistaken enthusiam... oh screw the dictionary... i will make my own meaning to this!!!

this name just popped into my mind when i changed servers from chaos to loki (in ragnarok). that may be 1 reason as to why i chose this name... because i loved chaos... shit! what a low reason... but still, the name looked good.. and also it seemed that nobody thought of that name... i managed to put on my char name "chaosfanatic" without any characters or spaces... yeah!! 1 point for originality!!! but now... this "chaosfanatic" indirectly described my life...

u may ask yourself... how could one love being in disorder? hehehe, i made a little meaning to that... the answer, is patterns... PATTERNS?? CHAOS HAS PATTERNS??? WHAT THE????

in this world... chaos has a pattern. cars on the road, no matter how fast they are going, will always have a gap between them. cross the road a few times... especially the underpass on magallanes. notice that no matter how many cars pass, there will be a time when the gap is big enough to cross... now in any form of chat.. there will also be a time when there is silence.. television shows have commercials.. everything chaotic in this world have patterns.. yes, even scoldings from parents have patterns... In all the chaos that is induced in this world, you get to see how this chaos is unfolded. you get to see what time is best for riding the mrt/lrt, how to cross a highway, what time to enter an online game, what time to hunt for items, and more. When properly seen and observed.. all that chaos... becomes so redundant they eventually become something you tune out... creating tranquility.Without chaos, tranquility wont be recognizable...

hmmmm.... not making any sense?? hahaha... maybe after i read what i just wrote then maybe i will have the same reaction... hehehe, i just write whatever enters my mind. never like to voice my ideas out... i just write them!! hehehe, maybe my future blog entries will show more about my chaotic life. for now... this will do... logging out at 12:00 am!!!